back for my yearly check in, been studying japanese for 2 months and 3D modeling again. got a fucking epic job that pays a lot so im saving as much as i can before I request transfer to japan. That's all really, nothing really of substance, college was a bust btw but i got a badass job without it.


damn it's been like 2 months from my last update. no longer in school (i got my certs n shit) and now I finally am able to pick my game again + some 3D modeling shit. I am really into noita and I'm probably going to go to proper college this summer. maybe fall. also now that I have a monitor that's in 1440p I can see how fucked up my site gets when it's outside the regular 1080p resolution lol. anyway, that's it for now, hope I can actually post more of my 3D work while I'm waiting for a proper job to call me back. :))) (also i may be signing up for behance to sell my artwork for a couple extra bucks, will update on that front when I do that.)


WOW! almost a full month since an update for here. sorry about that! time has been taken by school, havent even been able to work on my game much between that and losing weight. Thank GOD my school is just computer school anyway or the big picture progress would not get done. Anyway, got a valve index so im broke again since the G2 wasnt out at the time i was in the market for VR. I'm hoping to create a workflow with a 360 DE where I can code and model without having to alt tab a fuckload of the time. Of all the keyboard shortcuts i think that's the one I've used the most. That's all.


welp its been a full month since an update and I am back at school. Thats it really, probably gonna hold off on updates to my game until I'm done with school which I hope I can get done asap.


Moved. Finished writing, rewrote a ton. Working on a pitch to send to studios and working on a working prototype. Also investing a lot of money into stocks/crypto. Hope I strike gold but if i dont at least im making money. Also moving again soon I hope. Lots of exciting stuff and generally things are looking up!!!


HOLY FUCK today was stressful. Had a job interview today but the washing machine didn't work so I almost went in sweatpants but luckily I got to my school clothes away from my house in time and I was like 2 minutes early so I looked fine and I got to get an interview (which I fucking aced btw) and then went 2 get a sammich. Also my comp fucking busted because guess what windows is a shitheap so I am now completely linux :DDD but sadly I had to wipe me old drive. :( That's it, Hope you all have a wonderful day!!!!






sorry it's been a while since I updated about my game, normally i find myself wanting to work less on a project if i hype it up a ton. Currently I've been having the opposite problem where it's mostly what i'm thinking about since I don't talk about it with anybody. I'll keep it breif so I can have stuff to say when it's closer to done. Been going through tons of rewrites while trying to move and I have a huge portion of pseudocode done which I'm hoping to finish before the end of the month but I'm going to leave my current place before then so that may delay things further but whatever. I'm trying to keep it fairly simple in story and complex in gameplay but we'll see if there are another set of major changes later. Unrelated but gnarly to me, my 19th birthday is coming up and I have 0 idea what i want to do. Been craving gyros lately but maybe I'll just do BBQ since there's a place that's close that does BBQ. Fare thee well fellas, hope I can update you more soon! edit: one more thing I want to add is that I've been taking inspiration from the phemonena of "liminal spaces" even though most self described images of this kind are not liminal (transitional space) and more just abnormal spaces. There is one genuine liminal space that has always, always, ALWAYS freaked me out which would be the backrooms of malls. the inbetween areas with all the wires and pipes and shit. Thinking about it as I type is giving me goose bumps. I cannot pin why it makes me feel as I do but it does and I am intensely curious. OK that's it for real now. have a wonderful time :DDD


still not at school and started to some programming challenges with a buddy of mine. feel tired constantly and every day is becoming more crushing than the last, sedintary lifestyles are not for me. Moving around keeps me happy a lot more than I usually imagine. I just want my free gym back. Didn't watch the debates because I didn't care and i'm not voting but trump insulting biden for his academic record was pretty funny because he sounded like some sorta mobster while doing it. Anyway, glad I didn't vote and I can take comfort in knowing I didn't choose either of those two products of incest into the white house.


just been doing programming excersises so i dont fucking whither away into ash. school is being awful and they wont bring me back to the dorms when planned. Generally I've been mad at everything unless im talking to my gf but even then it's not for certain. AUGFHGHGHSGHHAGHGAHGHAGAHGAHGAHGAHGAHGHAGHAGHAGHAGH


I replayed mgs2 after playing mgs4 and god damn did they fuck raiden up in mgs4. Sad to see but holy fuck I love this ending so much I don't even care about mgs4. As far as I'm concerned his story ends at the end of this game. The patriots are still unknown and solid snake is still the greatest man of all time. (he's still awesome in mgs4 and carrys the entire game on his shoulders)


made a lil port scanner in python, was having issues at first but i figured it out. but that's not a very impressive feat since it's only like 22 lines. that's all for now :))) also shoutout 2 exephile!!!! bomb ass site and bomb ass person!!!


the days blend together so much i dont even know what happened on what day.


not much going on waitin for paperwork then i can move out. shoulda came a while ago but cant do anything about it now. no use cryin over it!!! got a pretty sweet sammich rn. uuuuhhhhhhhh that's it. hope u all have a good day :D


welp. i made a github, that's on the index page. i saw the movie climax (gaspar noe). not the greatest but pretty good, i loved the dance shit but gaspar always is slow to move the camera and a lot of the time i was feeling pretty bored. overall i liked it. not much to update on unfortunately, school says i cant go to the dorms right now for some reason which is fucking irritating. i wasn't having a problem with it last month or so. FUCK YOU!!!! agh!!! ok well that's it for now.


working on a conversation generator in python, uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh that's it.


i have to record this now so I dont forget, i went to 7/11 with my brother so he could grab a soda and as we walked up to the place we saw a joker truck pulling away and then a separate man wearing a joker shirt told us that a guy in 7/11 punched the cashier inside and this guy storms out saying "I left 2 fucking dollars on the counter asshole" and the employee says "yeah stay right fuckin there the cops are coming". me and my bro grab his soda and we head back and the guy in the joker shirt comes out from behind a tree (barefoot) and starts talking about how the moon is a satellite.


OKAY, today has also been quite a day but in a worse kinda way, i know i've said this before but I AM ACTUALLY ALMOST DONE WITH CLEANING. It will literally only take me one more day at this point(GOD WILLING). I'm predicting tomorrow will be rough though since I had an accident while cleaning and there's broken glass in a couple tricky spots now :||||||. Microsoft flight sim looks cool, def gonna go to the epstien island. Once I'm moved out I think I'll start work on my game again since I've had to put that on hold. I did shave today because the itch was driving me up the wall. Don't know why but moving this time seems to have some feeling of finallity to it, probably because I'll never have to deal with these people again, maybe not though. I actually for real feel like I am in hell for whatever reason, as if I'm never going to actually leave this place.


quite a day today, made a markov chain generator as an excersise and the results have been pretty amusing. my favorite generated entry contained "Epstien jizzing suspiciously" and that line made me giggle quite a bit. saw a commie in a discord I was in get kicked for saying the term 'rentcel' was fascist (LOL). more cleaning and bullshit like that and g fucking dang I need to shave my face, my beard is getting to the point where it starts to itch endlessly again. uh that's it for today I think

8/18/2020 again

actually been programming today instead of doing fuckin nothing!!!! nice to be productive :). I've heard that python is a slow language though and I've also heard it's a fast language from other places and in my experience it's worked pretty fast for me but I'm still curious why some people say it's slow. Maybe my computer is overkill for the type of tasks I run in python. I'll have to look it up later. On another note, I think I'm going to try to learn MIPS enough to make a 3d object if i can!!!


dry for topics so philosophy writing now, been thinking about the political spectrum and how accurately it reflects one's beliefs feel like I may have some new type of grasp of the values the three main extreme ideologies hold; them being: Communism, Facism, and Libraterianism(ancap). Trying to keep this as unbiased as possible but also as simple as possible so bear with me here. I'm also going to be simplifying the ideaologies themselves for brevity, communism(anarcho-communism) seems to value compassion over effectiveness and freedom, fascism seems to value effectiveness over freedom and compassion, and libraterianism(ancap) seems to value freedom over compassion or effectiveness. I must specify that when I say free I mean there are no external pressures from the state (or acting state) telling someone what they can't and can do. I suppose if I were to make a shape for it it would be an RGB triangle

obviously there is a spectrum between each idea but my general thought is on the three extremes


been lookin into microtonal music and it's pretty sick, only found a few composers that do that sort of thing though and they're all italian for whatever reason (more experimental music schools?). my cat pepper is just sleeping by my door and looking as cute as ever!!!! no productive work besides some cleaning has been done today, need to move my furniture to a storage unit which is gonna suck!!!! but it's one step closer to out of here!!! and thank god i'm almost out of here.




OK so I spent like 4 hours last night trying to come up with sick gnarly graphics for the background and every one was either too bright or seizure enducing or it just looked like shit. gonna try again today but I gotta hop in the shower since I just woke up.

8/14/2020 AGAIN

rewatching txchnolyze as I was reminded of how gnarly it was when I was talking with my bro about it since he watched lain. Thinking about talking more about mentality for life here if i'm dry for subjects, right now that's not a problem though. This show has the sickest grungy OP i've seen in an anime but i've only ever seen like 10 anime in my life so my scope is limited for quality. Who fuckin cares though it's still sick. Wrote a bit today, not as much as I should've but I had to walk somewhere which took a while so time was not on my side today. Finishing up cleaning tonight I hope!!!! I keep over estimating my work speed but looking at it now it's barely anything at this point.


did a lot of cleaning today, i feel like im going insane and I've just realized I've not had face to face contact with someone outside my family for like a month which is kinda freaking me out. I just wanna be back at school where I dont need to worry about my housing!!!


I was making a blockmesh for the first area of the game right as I realized I hated what I have written and then also realized that I've completely been rushing the writing for my project here. fucking COOL IT man. gonna go back, take it slow and re-write a lot of this stuff draw out some more, flesh some concepts out, especially how the gameplay is gonna work, I don't know why I wanted to rush into this so bad I'm trying to keep QUALITY above everything else. anyway, sleepy time for me, need to continue drawing out and writing tomorrow as well as clean, not enough cleaning tonight because I got bored. Oh well lol.


Been working on a prototype for my game with basic untextured assets and mapping layouts, lots has been scrapped but what is being kept I believe is quality. Cleaning last night was a pain, later tonight I believe I'll be done with cleaning and I'll just have to move my couch out. I'm ALSO working on a redesign on the website or it could just be on the promotional page for the game, idk, nothing is sorted out yet really. Lots of throwing shit at the wall to see what sticks right now.

8/11/2020 again!!!

I've tidied up the place a little but not near to the point I need to be right now. mostly because of the heat. I am absolutely dripping in sweat, I think it's in the upper 80s which my northern body is not acclimated to at all!!! That being said I do believe I'm gonna be able to make a ton of progress after the sun sets if I sleep now rather than at night. It won't be ideal since I'll have to keep my light on instead of using the natural light but at least I won't be caked in fluids.


It's like 2 in the morning, not sure what I plan to do today outside of cleaning since I'm moving out and going back to school (finally!). I'm sure I'll miss the room I'm in and It's going to be a headache getting this place spotless but if I don't get it done then it's just gonna be a problem later. Also considering giving this blog it's own rss feed for anyone that still uses those (I still do :p). Other than that today and maybe tomorrow is gonna be dry for content from me. Gonna be cleaning and packing mostly. Here's hoping it doesn't take longer.

Massive pain yesterday: went on the internet archive to download the ODST and Reach Soundtracks (I hate streaming music as I have no real control over the files on a streaming platform) and NONE of it was tagged. Not sure if the IA just doesn't save metadata (which I doubt) or if the archivist just didn't give a fuck. My theory is that they used the CD rips which according to an amazon review of the soundtrack are .cda files and have completely fucked the metadata. Who knows, I don't care enough to ask outside of here, my little corner of the internet :D

I need to buy a thinkpad soon! The one I currently have isn't exactly my property and I intend to return it since the model is not a very good one and it's already not mine. Not certain which I should get, I'll try and stick with the cheapest though since I'm tight on money

note for myself: update favorite music!!!!


FINALLY uploaded a scream


Not much work done today since I was asleep for most of it. will probably just work on stuff all tonight. need to grab some food to tide me over during that time though


Power nap today edit: this was a reminder not an event log. I am now going to take a nap

had me nap and I talked to one of my artist friend's who's working with me to make concept art for my game, general ideas are still being worked on as we're doing this though so lots is subject to change. Still excited to work on this and HOPEFULLY actually finish a project this year

On a related note I got around to modeling some env assets and possible weapons in a couple art styles I'm trying out. I hope a style can be settled upon by the end of the week but we'll see.


Been trying to solve the issue of having to pitch a scary samurai game to myself. A horror game with a combat focus usually doesn't turn out well. i.e. silent hill homecoming and amy

My solution is to imagine the tension of a fighting game where both opponents are a hit away from death. It's an intense situation and the result swaying either way being up to the individual player's skill being the particularlly attractive part to me.

To have that though the combat needs to be very, very in depth which I have a hard time picturing to work. I'd love to have the combat be complex enough to feel like mastering an art, with the player having granular control over their action being both the source of tension and the display of skill.

I'd hardly say I've SETTLED on what I think the combat will look like but something like "For Honor"'s system seems to be appropriate for comparison in this case.

Although I dislike the movement being restricted to 3 vectors of attack

Also I may make the entire game completely winnable through laido with the low health for both the player and the enemy AI


MOST of the fights will look like the duel in harakiri

8/7/2020 ONCE AGAIN


I know I'm basically preaching to the choir by saying thinkpads are gnarly but got dam I had never known something this cool existed

8/7/2020 AGAIN

made a lil 3d animation for the backround but neocities is slow to update which has caused frustration since I DELETED the old background from my website's files

oh well, that's out of my power right now. Reminding myself here that I need to continue figuring out manjaro linux and find out why downloading packages from the AUP takes so damn long!!!


Working on this site only lately, talked with tyab for a bit but back to making 3D stuff.

May add some 3D assets to this site if I feel like it :p

My cat pepper is hanging out in a disassembled casio keyboard, she's just chillin. Gonna have to give her a shower soon and get that anti-flea stuff

Took a bomb-ass power nap around noon, woke up at 4. Felt weird and dehydrated when I woke up.